Whether we pray in church with a community of believers as we do here on Wednesday mornings, or at home with members of our family, in a small prayer or Bible study group, at the bedside of an ailing friend, with a long time prayer partner, or by ourselves in the quiet of our own hearts, we never pray alone. Our own prayer is nourished and sustained by the prayers of so many others – the parents and grandparents, pastors and teachers, neighbors and friends who, throughout our lives, have lovingly brought our needs before the Throne of Grace. And as Paul reminds us in Romans 8:26, when we pray – no matter how tired or distracted or overwhelmed with our needs we may be – God’s own Spirit prays with us and for us, far better than we could do ourselves. Be that as it may, we may feel at times that He hasn’t heard our prayers since He hasn’t given what we asked.
I would like to share with you some excerpts from the uplifting pages of Elizabeth Rockwood’s book, “When Prayers Are Not Answered,” in which she helps the reader find peace when God seems silent.
“One spring morning I was preparing breakfast for an out-of-town friend who was visiting for the weekend. As I criss-crossed the kitchen from refrigerator to stove to breakfast table, our conversation ranged across many topics. After a while, turning to the subject of prayer, she said, ‘Did I ever tell you about a wonderful answer to prayer in my life?’
“Since I had not heard her story, she went on to share it with me. I bring her experience to you now, for it touches on the heart and soul of answered prayer.
‘My friend had been a brilliant student. Graduate of a prestigious college and winner of a Fulbright Scholarship, she went on to teach, write books, and become a respected leader in her community. Her brother, however, had been a poor student and had little personal success as an adult. Although my friend longed to have a warm relationship with him, his envy of her formed a wall between them.
“Through the years, although she was continually affirming and loving toward him and his wife and children, he responded to her with ever-increasing resentment. She suffered bitter disappointment as her expressions of friendship were met with rejection.
“Not knowing where else to turn, she began praying for her brother. She prayed often and earnestly that he would change. However, he did not change. But gradually, she changed. Her painful feelings about their relationship quietly dissolved, melted away, and were replaced by a deep peace and acceptance of him as he was. This peace amazed her, for it was something she knew she could never have achieved on her own. Moreover, her continuing efforts toward a good relationship with her brother had not gone unnoticed by his family, all of whom became warm, living parts of her life.
‘On that spring morning in our kitchen, leaning against the counter, she reflected, ‘Yes, my prayer was answered. Even though I didn’t receive what I asked for, I received much that I didn’t know to ask for.’
“Her story highlights a deep truth. Prayer is opening the way for God to come into our life, into our joy, and into our suffering. The answers are what happens when He comes.
“‘Ask,’ Jesus promises us, ‘and it will be given you. For everyone who asks, receives…’ His words are clear and straightforward. The response to our prayers will be good gifts from the Father in Heaven.
“There is a way to pray that can help us become aware of His answers and receptive to them. It has been used by Mary and Jesus and countless faithful after them. I think of it as ‘open-handed prayer.’
“This way of praying reminds me of the times when my children were small, and I had to cross a busy street or hazardous parking lot with one of them in tow. Prior to crossing, I would reach down and take their little hand in mine. Many a time I would find it clenched tightly shut around some treasured object. I would have to coax them to entrust the treasure to me. Finally, the child would summon faith in me and turn it over to the mysterious depths of my pocket or purse. Then, their fingers free to twine with mine, we would move forward to our destination.
“Open-handed prayers are like this. We release our concerns to our Lord. Then, trusting Him, desiring His will to be done, His purposes accomplished, we move forward in companionship with Him. The answer to such prayers can be breath-taking.
“One of the most memorable experiences I ever had with open-handed prayer took place when our oldest daughter was in high school. A dedicated piano student, she was working toward a career in music and possibly concert piano. As she progressed, it became clear that the upright piano we had given her was no longer adequate. The time had come for a better instrument if she was going to continue developing her skills.
“So she and I went shopping for a grand piano. It was a sobering experience. We visited showroom after showroom and I became increasingly downhearted for they were staggeringly expensive. After several days of looking, we found a beautiful secondhand Steinway. It seemed a real find. I went home and eagerly discussed its purchase with Bill. But after going through our budget, we realized the cost was far too much for us at that time. ‘It’s out of the question,’ Bill said.
“A few days later, I heard our daughter practicing a concerto. It was going beautifully when suddenly yet another string broke in her upright piano. The music stopped. Silence fell over the room where she had been practicing. It spread through the kitchen and dining room to the living room where I was standing and right into my heart. Deeply I felt the wonder of her musical gift, her hours of disciplined practice, and the frustration she must be experiencing.
“I stood by the window, looking out at the blowing trees, their shadows moving across the grass. I didn’t know what to do. This was a turning point for our daughter. Choice of college, career, and the path she would follow in life lay immediately before her. A close friend had urged us to encourage her to put her music on the back burner, go to a liberal arts college, develop her other gifts, and broaden her experience. Might they now tell me this impasse with the piano was a blessing in disguise? But others, experienced in music, had told us her talent was God-given, and she should aim for a conservatory and focus on developing her gift to the fullest.
“How would I pray for her? The late Scottish theologian Alan Lewis once wrote, ‘True prayer begins when we don’t know how to pray.’ Standing in the stillness of our home, I realized that only our Lord in His infinite wisdom could know what was best for our daughter. My thoughts ran along the lines of the old poem:
‘Being perplexed, I say,
Lord make it right!
Night is as day to Thee,
Darkness is light.
I am afraid to touch
Things that involved so much;
My trembling hand may shake,
My skill-less hand may break;
Thine can make no mistake.’
“Turning to open-handed prayer, I released the need for a better instrument to our Lord, asking that if He wanted our daughter to continue in a musical direction, He would help us and show us the way to provide it. I was open to His answer, whatever it may be. Above all, I wanted His will for her. Like the child crossing the street, I turned over what mattered to me. The, fingers twined in His, I was ready to follow wherever He led.
“That was on Friday. Over the weekend, whenever anxious thoughts recurred, I would simple reaffirm to our Lord my love and trust in Him. On Monday, we received a phone call from a cousin by marriage in
“A few days later, an answered prayer rolled slowly up to our house within a truck and was carried into our home by three hefty, perspiring moving men. The piano helped our daughter bring to fulfillment her gift for music in countless beautiful ways.”
Yes, God works in mysterious ways, His wonders to behold!
