September 30, 2007 - Same mind, different opinions - Frank Alton

Philippians 2:1-15

Can people stay together when they disagree on matters they believe are central to their life? I mean couples, families, communities and nations. We all know they can. But we also know they don’t always choose to. In my family of origin disagreement was scary. It usually led to a temporary break in the relationship. My sister and I used to fight a lot. At first it took weeks to reconcile. Later on it took us months, then years, to come back into relationship. The family I live in now is so different from that. My kids can scream at each other, and 5 minutes later they’re all “lovey duvy” again. It’s taken me years to realize that a disagreement among my children or with my children wasn’t going to create a semi-permanent alienation.

How were disagreements handled in your family? I ask that because I think the answer impacts the way we disagree in church. Over the years people have disagreed about a lot of things in church. We still do. Some look downright silly; others are still taken seriously. Can black people and white people worship in the same church? Should women wear pants to church? Is it okay for liturgists to come to church in jeans or shorts? Should children be allowed to make noise in church? Should women be allowed to be pastors? Should divorced people be allowed to be elders and deacons?

Today we hear a lot about churches splitting or threatening to split over the issue of sex. If you’ve been reading the newspaper you are aware of the tensions in the Anglican Church. Presbyterians are just as divided. It just hasn’t made the newspapers as much lately. For the last few decades the debate around sex has mostly been over the legitimacy of sex between people of the same gender. Recently a Lutheran bishop teased the audience by pointing out how easy it is for the majority heterosexual population to focus attention on the sexual practices of the minority homosexual population so it doesn’t have to face all the issues around its own sexual issues. Let’s face it: most churches never talk about sex except to prohibit it. A lot of people wish we’d keep it that way. Just as they wish the church would never talk about politics, economics or war. People tend to disagree strongly about those subjects. Who wants more reasons to disagree in church?

Do we have to talk about things we disagree over in church? People sometimes say, “I don’t come to church to deal with politics and sex. I go to church to get away from all that.” Once a week they want to get away from the violence and unpleasantness in the rest of the world to hear a word of hope and comfort. Have you ever felt like that? Come on, I know you have. I sympathize with that sentiment. Hey, I’m the guy some people wish would speak more about sex and others that I would speak less about it. I don’t find it that easy to talk about sex. When I was growing up you didn’t talk about sex in mixed company. But I see what’s happening to the church and to the world because we won’t talk about sex, and it’s not very pretty.

Just last night I had another reminder. I was over near LaFayette park handing out flyers for a vigil we were going to have for a man who had been killed Thursday morning as he came out of Winchell’s at Hoover and 7th. I was wearing a clerical collar, which I do at public events where it helps people focus on spiritual things outside church. I handed some flyers to some men who were intoxicated. One looked at me in my collar and said, “Why should I go with you? Don’t you and your kind molest little children?”

The church has asked for that because we haven’t known how to talk about or deal with sex in the church. Are all priests pedophiles? Of course not. Are most child abusers homosexuals? No. We’ve heard that assertion repeatedly since announcing the presence of a registered sex offender at Immanuel. It’s actually more likely for a child to be abuse by a heterosexual. It’s hard to change stereotypes when we don’t talk about sex.

At Immanuel we’ve decided we can’t wait any longer. The Session has committed to invite the congregation to engage in conversations about sex during the coming year. We have to talk about sexual orientation because it’s such a big issue for people. But we will never figure out sexual orientation if we don’t broaden the conversation to talk about other aspects of sex – including our own struggles in that area of our lives. For most of its history – at least since the time of St. Augustine – the church has put sex in the category of things to prohibit rather than things to celebrate. It’s time to change that.

But as Session prepared to take on the subject of sex we realized that we better spend some time thinking about how to stay together while we disagree. Sex isn’t the only subject we disagree about at Immanuel. It’s just one that evokes a lot of passion. We also disagree about immigration. I’ve had to respond to questions from members about why we are sheltering Yolanda in the church when the government has issued her an order of deportation that says she has to leave. We gotta “tawk”.

But while we talk and disagree we have to live in a way that has some integrity. Immanuel has dared to question authority when the authority asks us to act in ways that we believe lead us to disobey the teaching of Jesus. Long before I became pastor here, Immanuel was ordaining and installing people of various sexual orientations as deacons and elders. Some members are still not in agreement with that practice. The Presbyterian Church itself has not settled the matter of whether that is okay yet. Meanwhile, in most churches, people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender are marginalized. That’s simply not the way Jesus treated people. So we have a different practice at Immanuel. Members don’t have to agree with our policies and practices. They even have the right to work to change them. But we need to respect each other as we disagree.

The same has happened around immigration. The Session has approved policies that support undocumented immigrants. We joined the Sanctuary Movement to puts those policies into practice. Why? - Because just as church leaders don’t agree about sexual orientation, political leaders don’t agree on just immigration policies. Meanwhile, millions of immigrants face degrading situations and constant threats. That’s not how Jesus treated people either. So we shelter Yolanda because we believe there is a higher law of compassion, and some people have to experiment with creative alternatives.

Despite these radical policies and practices, the congregation hasn’t had much conversation either about our policies of sexuality or of immigration. Some members are not even aware of them. Others are in disagreement with them. We have to act one way or another even when we disagree. We can’t both ordain and not ordain gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people. And we can’t both support & not support undocumented immigrants. So we’ve implemented policies & practices without discussing them much in the congregation. That’s about to change.

Today we are launching a three part process to help us engage differences as we live together. Part one takes place this fall, culminating in a reaffirmation of our baptism vows in early January. We’ll be learning from each other the ways we’ve each figured out how to manage differences. We all do it; there is no one right way. So we’ll be learning from each other. Then, in late January we’ll engage in a series of conversations about sex, applying some of what we’ve learned from each other about how to disagree and stay together. Finally, in the spring, the Session will make some decisions about our public identity as a church that welcomes people of all sexual orientations.

I want to set up the conversations around dealing with differences this morning.. In the passage from Philippians Paul said it is possible to be of the same mind even when people have different opinions about something. There was some serious conflict in the church at Philippi. Paul seems to be saying they didn’t need to agree about the issue to maintain the unity of the church.
What does that mean? Most of us long for community that offers encouragement, consolation, sharing, compassion and sympathy (vs. 1). Disagreements threaten that. So Paul invites us to take on the mind of Jesus. By that he refers to some specific attitudes and actions, which are the foundation of our policies and practices. First, (vs. 3-4) he encourages us to look for what is valuable in each other & to be concerned for what the other is interested in. That means moving from a competitive view of community into a cooperative one. If honoring another by valuing him/her more makes me less honorable, I’m not going to do it. A cooperative view allows all to be honored.

Step two is even riskier. Jesus let go of what looked like the most valuable asset he had: equality with God. He didn’t just give up a little. He didn’t become a human king instead of a divine king. He became a slave and a criminal. Frankly, most of us aren’t going to go that far. But we can at least recognize that the human journey moves down rather than up. We can begin (vs. 6) to risk letting go of things we've held dear – power, reputation, wealth, and beliefs. We can (vs. 7) empty ourselves of moralistic superiority by realizing that certain aspects of morality come more easily to different ones of us. It’s easier to give up power if you’ve already had some. It’s easier to risk your reputation if you’ve never had to earn it. It’s easier to change your mind if you’ve never been rejected by your family for doing so. It’s easier for some to see immigrants without papers as morally inferior, and for others to see gays as morally inferior. The mind of Jesus doesn’t look at people as morally superior or inferior. And it is both courageous and patient about this journey toward humanness.

Step three has to do with how this gets worked out in community. We are (vs. 12) to work out our own salvation instead of putting it on auto pilot. For too long the church has made it look like all we have to do to be saved is to become Christians, memorize some doctrines, follow some rules and not change our mind once we’ve done so. That may be alright for the Energizer bunny, but not for Christians. Paul urges people to keep working out their salvation with fear and trembling. It’s scary to change our beliefs. It’s nerve wracking to have to make ethical decisions in areas that the “good book” hasn’t been clear about. But we’re not on our own. God is at work in us. We’re not dependent on a book that was written thousands of years ago. The Spirit of God continues to lead us into truth. Of course, you never know exactly where the Spirit is going to blow. Books are safer. But Jesus never promised the journey would be safe.

When we take on this perspective of the Christian life – that it is a journey rather than an arrival – we can begin to disagree without murmuring and arguing (vs. 14). That for Paul is what makes us “blameless and innocent children of God [who] shine like stars in the world.” (vs. 15) It’s not moral purity that makes us blameless and innocent. It is the refusal to murmur and argue. Wouldn’t that be a helpful corrective at a time when Christians are best known for their judgment rather than for their love; for opposing hate crime legislation so they can continue to preach against homosexuality?

I want to end this morning by saying that I have seen the mind of Jesus at work in Immanuel. And I’ve seen it in some pretty unlikely places. Not every piece of the picture is in place, but there are glimpses of what it looks like. People who disagree noisily about something go on to treat each other compassionately when there is a need. People who gossip and even talk behind each others’ backs show loyalty when one of them is in trouble. It seems that there are many ways to “have the same mind.” But all of them have to do with putting the exercise of love above having same opinion about something. I invite you to take on the mind of Jesus as we journey together through terrain that frightens us. Let us work out our salvation with fear and trembling.